how to tie a knot, i
To begin the 'How to Tie a Knot' series, I start with a composition written by my maternal grandfather. Wai-gong (Chinese for Grandpa) was a man who always chose to manage his time well. During his retirement years in LA as an expat, he wanted to improve his English effectively, and the century-long method for learning languages is to practice writing. Therefore, attending a local English composition course became one of his weekly event. One assignment was to write about a girl growing up in a small town, and here it goes:
Her name was Lushan (now Minshan). Her family and mine were in the same rural country of a small town Liling, Hunan, China. She was born in 1926 while I in 1921. Her father (1884-1955) and my father (1878-1925) were best friends, but my father lived only 47 years old while her father, whom I called uncle Yufei, lived 73. She and I never saw each other when we were young.
The first time I saw her was in 1940, three years after the outbreak of Sino-Japanese war (1937-1945), when she was 14, staying at home with her parents because her schooling was interrupted by the war. I was 19, just graduated from middle school and passed the university entrance exam. I was preparing for a trip to the school located far away in the war time capital Chongqing. My sister accompanied me to see uncle Yufei asking for a loan of 300 Yuan cash for the traveling expenses. We had cordial talk with Lushan's parents but not a single talk with her. Lushan was entirely indifferent to me.
In the university I exchanged letters with uncle Yufei. One day I got a letter from him mentioning his chat with my father long time ago intentionally to tie up the two families with possible marriage between their children. He proposed me to write letters with his daughter Nishan (her elder sister) in a college. I did what he proposed but just as with an ordinary pen pal girl friends.
In 1948 I was working in a factory in the southwest province when China had won the war over Japan for three years but still in chaos. I asked a one-month leave in the factory returning to my native home to see folks, including some girls there, and possibly get one to marry with. I did not write them any letters but only trying by chance. After a short stop in the province capital Changsha, I went to my native town to see more people, especially Nishan. I first arrived at uncle Yufei's house because it was near the railway station. When I arrived, to my disappointment, Nishan was not at home, only her younger sister Lushan was there with her parents. I was entertained to stay for a few days. Living in their guest room which was also a place of their home library staked with books and miscellaneous exercise books of children's school work. I was impressed to see some neatly written math exercise home work of Lushan. She was 23 years old at that time. I talked with her alone and found her very intelligent and lovely. She listened to my talk about my life and experiences with interest. We fell in love. We were engaged soon. One year later we married.
Grammar and syntax problems aside, this short story reminds me of the first chapter of Katherine Graham's autobiography, Personal History. She, too, began her book with a description of how her parents met amongst the madding crowd, and concluded this chapter with:
When I look back over my long life, if there is one thing that leaps out at me it is the role of luck and chance in our lives. From this particular string of accidental happenings all the rest followed. (Personal History, 4)
It is quite true.