what ever happened to global warming?
Today at the end of the shop hours my boss wished me a more cheerful week, and to find 'unexpected delights'. OK, I suspect that he has been reading this blog, and it made me slightly embarrassed. Compared to the Tsunami, Philippine landslide and New Orleans hurricane victims, me awarding myself a trophy to my still bouncy heart is lame. It also reminds me of Bree's mother-in-law in Desperate Housewives who tearfully tells everyone (including strangers) of her son's death, whilst Bree remains like a stone. But holy cow, I was torn to pieces, and so my flatmate suggested that I can write things down every day. When I read the stuff I wrote before, I am able to think more clearly. Er, she didn't suggest I write it on a weblog though... *pulls face*. When people are sad, ones who can sing compose a sad love song, ones who can paint splash colours on the wall and call it art. I happen to be able to construct sentences so I write. Read about these crazy cases.
If you ask me if I'm scared, I say that I'm frightened like the mouse in your kitchen. Especially with the foul weather in February (today hailed thrice), my family and friends in TWN and other parts of the world and my haunting retentive memory. At times I still have this deep empty feeling, and know that something saddening will arrive and blow my confidence. I know that me feeling better today is temporary. But inevitably we need to face our fear. Today I went indoor rock climbing, and during the process I often felt that I couldn't make it. I fell down on the matress, and when I felt ready (which is not often) I tried again. I will continue practicing. Now my fingers are shaking as I write, but it felt good. That person actually introduced me to the sport; I really enjoyed my virgin climb years ago but did not have the chance to continue. Suddenly I thought maybe that person was like Gandalf that leaded Frodo-me the way through London, and now that his mission is accomplished, he lets go and tells me that I am ready to explore the city myself. *Blah, corny stuff*.
I realised that I have good friends here and everywhere--for some time I thought I was writing a 'little no-mates journal of gloom', but recently they popped out like spring flowers. A special one, my highschool first love, took the time to write a long e-mail and talked to me as well. Those who have crossed my paths have enriched me so; as I have more I will give it all to you.