that yoga session turned me into a frozen chicken
The English weather surely helps
Back to Waterloo
Went to Egham yesterday for a tutorial. My poor tutor--he not only has to supervise my research project, but also act as a counselor. The session began with me explaining to him what happened recently and doubts about my intention to undertake a doctorate degree. He didn't interrupt, and let me continue. I finally said that I am determined to complete it; though the future looks quite bleak, we will make it happen. We set up deadlines, and I wanted him to send me threatening e-mails if I don't follow. Afterwards we focused on the sedan chair chapter I was working on, as he suggested some texts, pictures and different ideas. I told him some of the stuff I was reading, and discussed whether certain materials were tenuous to my theme. Finally, as the tutorial approached an end, I couldn't help but ask him, 'How do you cope with loss?' There was he, a reserved English gentleman who probably has never met a troublesome research student like me throughout his teaching career, and has to answer such a bold, personal question. There was I, sitting on the chair desperately wanting suggestions from a person who has read and experienced so much. The air was quiet for a few seconds, then he replied, 'We don't cope with loss. It is through loss that we learn about humanity and sympathy. It is better to come to this life knowing you have felt'. (I'm not quoting word for word here, but this is the general idea.) 'Another question', I said, (I have loads of questions these days) 'Are literature students more sensitive and emotional?' Apparently, the answer is yes: there's a larger percentage of humanities majors using the health centre counseling service at the college. It seems that we are doomed. 'I don't want to be grouped into the same lot', I replied. But after further discussion, I found out that we aren't completely hopeless. The process of trying to analyse and understand this mad, chaotic world is itself a rational and reasonable act.
They say that yoga helps you relax, the conception about balancing body, mind and spirit; however, the class yesterday almost froze me to death. The classroom was in the basement, and I basically lied there shivering the whole time. I need sports that involve more action--from now on, it will be just swimming and rock climbing.