wai-gong
My wai-gong (grandpa) suddenly passed away on Monday. According to mum, on that normal Monday morning he went grocery shopping with wai-po (grandma), bought newspapers, went home and started feeling sweaty. They dialed for the hospital, and later on wai-gong most calmly stepped in the ambulance himself and off he went. I was shocked to hear the news, and indeed felt a profound sense of sadness and loss. I've been thinking lately that the death of a loved one might not be tremendously awful, as Mum was comforted with the idea that wai-gong died of a heart-attack, without experiencing much suffering or pain. Most importantly, he lived life to its fullest, at least we'd like to think that way. Recalling a recent conversation on the phone, wai-gong told Mum that he could sleep well every night, knowing that he need not worry about anything. It's the idea of inexistence that takes time to get used to. We don't spent a great deal of time together, yet I've spent holidays at his house in LA, had meals, watched TV and simply chat. From 2000 we would even receive his e-mails every month without exception. At the age of 83, one could easily notice the swiftness of his mind and agility--Wai-gong enjoys ballroom dancing, writing Chinese and English essays on politics, engineering and retirement. He helps people from his hometown in Hu-Nan Province, and even owns a personal website. The optimistic tone of retirement life in The Remains of the Day reminds me of wai-gong. Here's the typical practical wai-gong telling everyone what they should do with their lives:
〈 治 家 格 言 〉
認 清 時 代 ﹐ 意 境 求 新 。 勤 勞 不 懈 ﹐ 身 體 力 行 。 早 睡 早 起 ﹐ 神 志 清 明 。 精 研 學 術 ﹐ 力 求 會 通 。 廣 習 技 藝 ﹐ 手 腦 並 行 。 體 察 入 微 ﹐條 理 分 明 。 準 確 周 密 ﹐ 科 學 精 神 。 平 時 多 準 備 ﹐ 臨 事 見 從 容 。 生 活 儉 樸 ﹐ 力 戒 奢 風 。 飲 食 有 時 ﹐ 嗜 欲 有 節 。 淡 泊 明 志 ﹐ 寧 靜 致 遠。 無 事 甘 于 寂 寞 ﹐ 得 意 不 可 忘 形 。 守 時 守 約 ﹐ 待 人 以 誠 。 交 友 直 以 諒 ﹐ 處 世 要 和 平 。 忠 於 職 責 ﹐ 信 諾 如 金 。 行 為 方 正 ﹐ 舉 止 高 明 。 不 言 人 短 ﹐ 意 態 兼 沖 。 待 人 以 寬 ﹐ 律 已 從 嚴 。 深 謀 遠 慮 ﹐ 趨 吉 避 凶 。 書 以 自 勉 ﹐ 傳 之 子 孫 。 １ ９ ６ ８ 年 ３ 月 ２ ９ 日 （ 青 年 節 ） 文席謀 撰 並 書