drunkards
According to the great storyteller Thomas Nashe, there are eight kinds of drunkards. What type are you?
1) 'Ape drunk--he leaps, and sings, and holloes, and danceth for the heavens'.
2) 'Lion drunk--he flings the pots about the house, calls his hostess whore, breaks the glass windows with his dagger, and is apt to quarrel with any man that speaks to him'.
3) 'Swine drunk--heavy, lumpish, and sleepy, and cries for a little more drinks and a few more clothes'.
4) 'Sheep drunk--wise in his own conceit when he cannot bring forth a right word'.
5) "Maudlin drunk--the fellow will weep for kindness in the midst of his ale, and kiss you, saying, 'By God, captain, I love thee; go thy ways, thou dost not think so often of me as I do of thee; I would (if it pleased God) I could not love thee as well as I do'. And then he puts his finger in his eye and cries". (That would be me, so they say.)
6) 'Martin drunk--the man is drunk and drinks himself sober ere he stir'.
7) 'Goat drunk--when, in his drunkenness, he hath no mind but on lechery'.
8) 'Fox drunk--he is crafty drunk, as many of the Dutchmen be, that will never bargain but when they are drunk'.
Extract from The Unfortunate Traveller and Other Works.
There's not much of a difference between Nashe's time and ours, no?